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If you actually had to get a licence to have kids, what would the questions on the test be?

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“Daddy, why can’t we go outside?”
“Because it’s raining”
“Why?”
“Well, water’s coming out of the sky”
“Because it was in a cloud.”
“Why?”
“Because clouds form vapor”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Those are all the things I know.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m stupid.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t pay attention in school.”
“Why?”
“Because I was high all the time”
“Why?”
“Because my parents didn’t give a shit”
“Why?”
“Because they fucked in a car and had me and they resented me for taking their youth”
“Why?”
“Because they had bad morals.”
“Why?”
“Because they had shitty parents”
“Why?”
“Because fuck it, we’re alone in the universe, nobody gives a shit about us.”
“Why?”
“Because somethings are and some things are not!”
“Why?”
“Because things that are not can’t be”
“Why?”
“Because nothing wouldn’t be! You can’t have fucking nothing isn’t!”
“Why?”
“Because if nothing wasn’t we’d have all kinds of crazy shit like giant ants with top hats that we have no room for!”
“Why?”
“Oh fuck you, eat your french fries you little shit!”

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