Hello Friends ! If you are getting bore than you are at the right place to get rid out of that. We giving some most funny jokes that may change your mind. So, let’s start…
Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
Ted: What?
Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”
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Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.
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Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?
Student: I don’t know. Why?
Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!
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Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
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John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
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Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake?
A: You crack me up!
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Q: What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?
A: “Nobody’s perfect!”
Boy: “I got an F in arithmetic.”
Father: “Why?”
Boy: “The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3?’ and I said ‘6’”
Father: “But that’s right!”
Boy: “Then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?'”
Father: “What’s the fucking difference?”
Boy: “That’s exactly what I said!”
What did the square say to the old circle?… Been around long?
David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!
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Just before the final exam in
my college finance class, a less-than-stellar student approached me.
“Can you tell me what grade
I would need to get on the exam
to pass the course?” he asked.
I gave him the bad news. “The exam is worth 100 points. You would need 113 points to earn a D.”
“OK,” he said. “And how many points would I need to get a C?”
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Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
A: To reach the high notes.
Q: Why did the girl wear glasses in math class?
A: It improves di-vision.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
“What is courage?”
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Why is music like a fish?…. they both have scales!
Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
In college, my freshman-year roommate was in ROTC and came from a long line of military men. Trask (his last name) used that heritage to lord it over me. But I had the last laugh.
One night, he returned to the dorm in his perfectly pressed uniform, his newly acquired name tag in his hand. Reluctantly, he showed it to me. In large gold letters was printed: TRASH.
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Q: What’s the worst thing you’re likely to find in the school cafeteria?
A: The Food!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
(Because her students were bright!)
Teacher: Will any idiot in the room stand up please?
(a student stands up)
Teacher: Why do you think you are an idiot? Student: actually I don’t, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “Get out! Don’t come to class for the next 1 week. Another boy laughs…”
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy: “I saw both straps of your bra.”
Teacher: “Get out! Don’t come to class for next 1 month.”
The teacher bends to pick a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out of the class.
Teacher: “Why are you going out?”
Johnny: “With what I saw I think my school days are over.”
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Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
(She couldn’t control her pupils!)
Why was the principal worried?… Because there were too many rulers in school!
Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hepped up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”
“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.
“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?”
“Then I’d be a football fan.”
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Q: Why did nose not want to go to school?
A: He was tired of getting picked on!
Q: Why did the girl wear glasses in math class?
A: It improves di-vision.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
(In the piano!)
A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother,
“Is it true what Rita just told me?”
“What’s that?” asks her mother.
“That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?” said her daughter.
“Yes it is dear!” replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come
up and that she wouldn’t have to explain it to her daughter.
“But then, when I have a baby,” responded the teenager, “won’t it knock my teeth
out?”
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What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?…. a walkie-talkie
What did the math book tell the pencil?…. I have a lot of problems.
Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!
For Martin Luther King Day, I asked my fifth graders how they’d make the world a better place. One said, “I’d make potato skins a main dish rather than an appetizer.”
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Q: How do you get straight A’s?
A: By using a ruler!
Teacher: Will any idiot in the room stand up please?
(a student stands up)
Teacher: Why do you think you are an idiot? Student: actually I don’t, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.
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Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.
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Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Tommy: At the great airports!
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Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Billy: A delicious fruit salad.
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Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
Johnny: In jail!
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Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.
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Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
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How do you get a Florida State graduate off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
My sister-in-law was teaching Sunday school class. The topic for the day: Easter Sunday and the resurrection of Christ.
“What did Jesus do on this day?” she asked. There was no response, so she gave her students a hint: “It starts with the letter R.”
One boy blurted, “Recycle!”
Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!
Why won’t the elephant use the computer?….He’s afraid of the mouse!
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.